Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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