Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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