i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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