I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
