Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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