You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
