i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
