This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize