I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
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