you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
