I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
