I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
It was confusing and full of hummus
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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