FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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