Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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