genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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