Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
