Dual....:-)
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Alive.
So much puke
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
