Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
