Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
