it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
