guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
