we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
