Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
