I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
