Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he was CRYING into my vagina
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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