Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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