You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
