Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
