apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
