they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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