Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
