So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
you never un-have a 4some
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
