You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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