Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
