On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
