True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
