Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
