Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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