You're completely useless in the revolution.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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