I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
