need another drink. this is the easiest way
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
