what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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