I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize