My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
