I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
