Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
