Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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