David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
