I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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