kristin has been a bad kristin
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say š
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for āteacher / parent conferences.ā A couple more āconferencesā and Iāll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I didnāt spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize