I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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