Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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