D3 body, D1 cock
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
