Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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