Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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