You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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