you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
