you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Randomize
