i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize