At least make sure they are 18
Why
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
