thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
