So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Randomize